| No. |
Pun |
Rating |
| 1. | A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge." | 1.00 |
| 2. | Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!" | 1.00 |
| 3. | I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way. | 1.00 |
| 4. | Banning the bra was a big flop. | 1.00 |
| 5. | Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? | 1.00 |
| 6. | Shotgun wedding - a case of wife or death. | 1.00 |
| 7. | A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." | 1.00 |
| 8. | Do you know why it's easy for a hunter to find a leopard? Because a leopard is always spotted. | 1.00 |
| 9. | The Mexican doctor told the village nymphomaniac, "Senorita, it looks to me like you've had Juan too many." | 1.00 |
| 10. | It has just been reported that miniature fighter planes piloted by specially trained circus midgets, have flown several shorties against Iraq today. | 1.00 |
| 11. | Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. | 1.00 |
| 12. | A not so very good art teacher was good only at drawing blank faces. | 1.00 |
| 13. | Did you know that autopsy is a dying practice? | 1.00 |
| 14. | Demons are a ghoul's best friend. | 1.50 |
| 15. | Then there was the scientist who disconnected his doorbell. He wanted to win the Nobel Prize. | 1.50 |
| 16. | I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." | 1.50 |
| 17. | A cowboy who was also an artist could draw fast. | 1.50 |
| 18. | What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? "Dam!" | 2.00 |
| 19. | What does it mean when the flag is at half staff at the post office? They're hiring. | 2.00 |
| 20. | What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie? A dog that runs for help... after it bites your leg off. | 2.00 |
